So he hoofed and he poofed...

We have our last childbirth class tonight and I'm kinda sad - everything seems to be wrapping up. Ben and I were so excited when we found out we were pregnant - we honestly did not think we would be for a long time. This journey has been so amazing...so exciting and utterly breathtaking at times (mostly bc I get jabbed in organs that are never meant to be poked and must therefore catch my breath!) At first it was so exciting telling people that we were expecting. Then my thoughts turned to "oh dear Lord I am so tired I want to crawl up and sleep on that rock" and I could have if someone would have let me - there is no way to ever explain the exhaustion that comes in your first trimester! Next was the countdown to the second trimester because I was told my morning sickness would go away (all day sickness is more like it!) then 'are we having a boy or a girl?' to our 4d ultrasound to our childbirth classes to the sit and wait until birth. With all of those milestones behind us, I guess I just dont want it to be over and I know that with every day that comes is another day closer to this all being over. Now, dont get me wrong - I'm so excited about having him (well not 'having' him - that's a different blog for a different day!) and I can't wait to meet him but there is something amazing about this 'being pregnant' thing. I love it and I know that Ben and I will have more children if for no other reason but to feel this way again!

So back to my original thought (I'm pretty sure I have adult onset add) Our last class is tonight and we are talking about postpartum and newborn care. Last week we saw a c-section and epidurals - no thank you to either one right now although I know everyone reading this thinks I'm crazy for even thinking I dont want an epidural :) Oh and I wish I had my camera! Last week, in a very dramatic demonstration, Ben was the 'mom' giving birth by c-section. you should have seen his 'husband' - a 300 lb black man - it was all so beautiful. LOL. Ben will kill me for posting this. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this experience has been amazing and I never thought it was possible to love Ben more than I do right now - he is the most amazing husband and will be the most amazing dad - Jackson sure is lucky. Ben has been at every appointment, every childbirth class (even participating as the mom in a skit - if ya'll know ben..this is not his usual 'thing') he has gone to the store anytime I have needed anything, rubbed my back, played with my hair...wait - now I know why I don't want this pregnancy to be over - I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!! ok, back to reality. Ben is one of my greatest blessings and I can only hope that everyone has someone that makes them feel as special and as loved as Ben makes me feel.

I needed to get this into writing while I was still semi-sane so anyone who can hear me yelling at ben when he tries to 'coach' me through those awful breathing exercises during labor can refer back to this and remind me of how 'in love' I was just a short time before...

bethany