Mary, Did you Know?

Yesterday was an unseasonably warm day in February. I had an outdoor photo session at a local walking trail and since it was late enough in the day, Ben could watch the boys for me. The boys ran and played, threw rocks - enjoyed being boys. After the session I met up with them and snapped a few memory shots and then we headed home. Jackson wanted to jump of the bench (of course he did) and I thought it would be fun to catch the shot. He loves to talk about being able to fly. He gets that from Ben. I hate to fly and the thought of that super power sounds anything but super.

When I got home, I uploaded the images and was struck by this one. My eyes were immediately drawn to the crosses in the background and I was just flooded with emotion. It was like everything I am hoping and dreaming for my boys was right there in front of me. Oh how I LONG for the day when I can say with calm assurance that they have taken the leap for Jesus. I pray over the boys that God will call them, save them, do whatever He has to do to just keep them with Him for eternity.

Do you feel burdened for your children? Do you feel pressure to show them the Jesus they read about? I'm so horrible with accountability but I know that my boys are watching me. How will they know Jesus is real if I proclaim Him but act like everyone else? It's a lot of pressure and I can't do it on my own. I need grace just as much as they do but HE gives me the strength and He always will, if I seek Him and ask. Who knew that the two people who know the least about my struggles and failures would be the ones that keep me focused on letting God use me and heal me.

I used to cringe at the thought of anything bad ever happening to the boys, but I'm coming to realize that without the bad, where is the need for Jesus? My prayers have changed from "Protect them, Lord! Watch over them and keep them from any harm!" to "Do whatever you have to Lord to save them." Will it be painful in the process? Maybe. Pain isn't everyone's salvation road, but for some it is. Like Mary, watching Jesus carry the cross - it was painful. It looked wrong. She didn't know it at the time, but that painful road would save me. And you. And, some day, my boys. So until I get to see that official leap, that day they call Jesus King and Savior I will do as Lamentations 2:19 says and "Pour my heart like water before the presence of the Lord, Lift my hands to him for the lives of my children"

What a precious day that will be.